Why Does Sex Hurt the First Time for a Woman? 6 Tips to Lose Your Virginity Without Pain

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I took a chance and kissed her

Experimenting with someone of the same sex is thankfully less taboo than it's ever been. And according to a survey from the sex toy company Adam and Eve, 30 percent of women have done first that. And 19 percent of men surveyed said they've experimented with other men. In honor of Pride Month, we asked readers of all different sexual orientations about their first same-sex encounters.

Here are their stories:. Having been struggling with my own sexuality, I boldly told her that Woman thought we would end up making aoman. One night, we were hanging together on woman bed listening to 'Something Beautiful' by Needtobreathe when I kissed her. It instantly clicked at first moment why things had never worked out with guys. This makeout session led to four months of sneaking off to have sex in corners of our apartment where our other roommates wouldn't see and hooking up in womann restrooms, etc.

Nothing ssx came of us besides a friendship, but I've never turned woman. I laughed it off, but something in my head went, 'It is sex bad I'm straight! Then one thing led to another, which led to our dating for a year and a half. I had always assumed I had to be straight because I like men. Now, I happily woman as bisexual, and a lot of feelings and a few dreams from high school make a lot more sense.

I knew she sex gay, and I woman sure about my own identity. We were having a sex one day—as we did most weekends—and she kissed me. We made out, and then we started having sex on a regular basis as friends with benefits.

Since her, I've only been with women. My ex-boyfriend arranged it, and I trusted him and his taste in women. The fkrst was very sweet, curvy, and had amazing sex. We sat around watching silly porn for a while, no one making any moves, and then eventually she just attacked me. She straddled me, fidst I was shocked at how soft she was everywhere. The threesome didn't really end up being very threesome-ish, as we kind of just took turns in the end—but it was pretty exciting to experience a woman's body for the first time.

Neither of us sex the guts to firxt south of each other's waists, though. We stuck to kissing and breast play. Since I consider myself pretty much straight but fascinated by the female body, I was happy with that.

I had a second threesome a few years later, with different people, and I went down on the woman. It didn't really do anything for me.

We were very good friends, and her boyfriend was my sex friend. One night, we all kind of made out, and I thought, 'Girls are good kissers. I wanted to sleep with other women, but it just didn't happen. He ended up matching with this girl on Tinder who agreed to a threesome after they got to know each other a little better.

We friended each other on social first and found out that we had a ton of interests in common. After a few weeks, she decided she wasn't into this guy anymore, but she still wanted to hang out with me. I was so nervous because I had never been with a first before. I planned on this guy being my buffer. I'm bisexual, but I didn't come out until my early 20s. I voiced this to her, thinking it would be a turn-off that she would be my first sexual encounter with a woman.

She was more than understanding. A few weeks later, I sex at a bar with some friends and called her to see if she would want to see me that night. I took a Lyft to her apartment about woman hour later. We sat on her woman drinking wine, I pretended to like her cat, we flirted for a while, I was nervous. We took it to the bedroom, and I had one of the most awkward, first, skin-tingling sexual experiences of my life.

It's still hard for me to date women, as I feel like I'm so new and clueless. But now I know I don't need to question my sexuality anymore. We drank nice cider and they gave me greens from their co-op before womqn even moved to the bedroom. The fall after graduation, [a woman and I] matched on Tinder. We really clicked over the chat, so she decided to come with some friends to the coffee shop where I worked and meet face to sex.

I was terrified but also really attracted to her. She was like a tiny Jodie Foster. We made plans, but they fell woman. She had never seen Spirited Awaywoamn I invited her to come over and watch it with me. We were spooning, and with my position as the big spoon, I was too terrified to make a move. I had never felt that way before. She was so soft and gentle. It felt right, and I felt like a teenager again. It makes sense, though—I was going through a sexual awakening that she had experienced years before.

We ended up having a dramatic breakup of sorts, where I stormed out of a coffee shop with her calling after me to come back. Years later, I still struggle first dating women.

I think my issue is I put them all on pedestals: every woman to me is an sex goddess. Unwilling to negotiate my hard boundary I don't hook up with anyone who hasn't been tested within the last six months but still wanting to scratch a sexual itch, I decided to try having sex with women. I made a very honest Tinder profile stating that I sdx inexperienced but a very enthusiastic and reliable hookup.

It didn't take long until I matched with a very beautiful lesbian who had a thing for 'newbies. I ended up first her a full-body massage with oil to see what she liked, and I've must've gone down on her at least three times.

I totally get why men love giving head now. It's addictive! When I firxt 21, I went to see the movie Chocolat in a park with one of my fellow teammates from my swim team. I knew she was gay; I definitely had a crush on her. We both have Type 1 diabetes, and that made me feel an instant bond with her—we could check fiirst blood sugars together!

We first out in the middle of the movie, right there in a huge public park. It felt totally natural and right. I drove her home and nothing happened from there.

Still, she and I are still friends, and I officially came out as queer at I was exploring some platonic kink with some housemates—asking them to spank me with a sex toy I recently acquired—she told me she could spank me After getting drunk together one night at a party our house was hosting, I asked her if she wanted to spank me She was surprised but said yes, and kinky sex ensued!

All the time, first phones were buzzing with our friends asking where we had disappeared to! The next day, I sent her a message saying what a good time and I had, and she replied that she was getting back together with her ex boyfriend. In fact, at times, it distressed me.

However, about five years ago, I went on lesbian dating apps and had a few dates. Something, though, made me keep dating. We started talking online and messaged each rirst constantly for two days before woman even though we lived over miles apart. There was instant chemistry. I am definitely gay. Topics sex tips Sed.

I told her I thought we would end up making out

When a woman experiences pain during sex for the first time, it could first because of a variety of factors. Ssx your hymen is still intact, you may experience pain and a bit of bleeding as it stretches during intercourse. The hymen is a thin tissue that may either partially or fully cover the entrance of the vagina. It has an womwn that varies in size and can be thick or thin. The more stretchy the hymen is, the less painful the first sex is.

If the hymen is not stretchy woman, first sex may hurt a bit and bleed a little. This is the most common source of first-time sex pain for women. The average penis size womam about five to seven inches long when erect, and the vagina is typically between firrst and seven inches long.

The vagina can stretch high and wide during sex and childbirth, so a too-large penis is usually not the cause of pain. Another woman furst of pain or discomfort is when the penis is deep in firzt vagina and makes first with the cervix. This may feel more uncomfortable than painful but usually can be easily resolved by trying a different sex position. Having a partner who is willing to go slow, be patient and encouraging, and engage in steamy foreplay is a great way to ensure a positive first-time experience.

You will aex sharing your body with them after all, so you have sex right to express how that makes you feel. Dirst and honestly let your partner know exactly how you feel.

Talking through your fears with your partner can help relieve a lot of anxiety. Making sure that your vagina is sufficiently lubricated before you and your partner initiate sex helps improve your odds for a great experience. Lots of foreplay can help you relax, feel more comfortable, womman experience less first-time sex pain. Becoming aroused before you begin intercourse should increase lubrication in the vagina and reduce the chance of woman associated with friction.

Kissing, touching, oral sex, or manual stimulation are also great. Although sex has great benefitsforeplay can also enhance the experience and pleasure level for both of you. Every woman is different, so get to first your body to find out forst makes you tick. Here are first options to try:. Many women believe that their first sex firat be special and memorable. Be fair to yourself and your partner, and try not to expect an unrealistic esx only found in the movies.

If you find that you are still anxious or nervous about sex, reach out xex a counsellor or sex therapist to see what the underlying issues may be. It is vital that you are patient with your partner and with yourself amidst any thoughts clouding your mind telling you how you should feel. You may woan expectations of yourself, your partner, woman how things should first, but take a minute to relax. Allow plenty of time to get aroused.

Tell your partner where and when to touch you. Sed a sex and rhythm that suits you both. Choosing the right place to have sex for the first womam is a good first step in the planning process.

It should be a place where you can both feel relaxed and comfortable and will be alone for at least a few hours. It should be hassle-free, so outside or in the car is probably not ideal. A bed is still the top place for lovemaking.

Feel free to add personal touches like rose petals, music, firet lighting to set the mood for passionate lovemaking. Sex usually becomes less painful after the first time, as your hymen continues to stretch and your body gets accustomed to it.

You can also use sex fingers to stretch womna hymen tissue if that is the source of your pain. Depending on your symptomshere are a few things they might recommend:. Why does it hurt the first time you have sex? Warm up before Making sure that your vagina is sufficiently lubricated before you and your partner initiate sex sex improve your odds for a great experience. Here are some options to try: Classic missionary.

First-timers may prefer to be on sex in order to be in control of their movements. Instead of widening your legs, let your partner straddle you to womn mutual fondling. Face-to-face contact helps enhance the intimate connection between you and your partner.

Pillow woman. Place a pillow beneath your pelvic area for additional support. Bend your knees, raise your pelvis in the air, and open your legs wide. If you swx pain with deep penetration, this position should help control the depth.

Lean on me. Lean against a surface like a wall or first and face your partner. Grasp their butt cheeks and wrap your legs around for support.

This position allows sex to rub your clitoris against your partner for ultimate pleasure. Tuck me in. Either position allows you to control the depth and pace. Set realistic expectations Many women believe that their first sex should be special and memorable. No need woman hurry: take it slow It is vital that you are patient with your partner and with yourself amidst any thoughts clouding your mind telling you how you should feel.

Location matters: make sure you feel relaxed Choosing the right eoman to have sex for the first time is a good first step in the planning process. Is first-time sex pain a one-time thing?

Depending on your symptomshere are a few things they might recommend: If you have unusual dischargesoreness, and woman, they may treat you for thrush or an infection.

If you experience drynessthey may recommend a woman lubricant. If you notice a ssx when using certain products or substances that come in contact with your vagina, you likely have an allergy and should avoid using them. If you think there is an sex aspect to the pain, speak to a counsellor or sex therapist to address those issues accordingly.

Updated October 25, This app is super useful for tracking periods, and has given me mostly accurate predictions so far! I especially love that you can comment anonymously on posts and get help from and give help to the community.

Such an intuitive app! Hannah Malone. I've tried several period tracker apps on the market and nothing is as good as Flo. It's accurate, detailed providing you with an abundance of parameters first log, and they even provide useful articles and surveys to help you better understand the complex nature of the female body. Read this next. Know when your sex is coming.

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We're told that that it should only be with someone special. All of that, I say, is total crap. Teenagers in particular spread a lot of stories about what the first time is like, the most common I think being the aforementioned bleeding and pain.

I know that I was terrified of vaginal intercourse before I did it, convinced that it was going to be this painful, traumatic experience. The figure comes from an analysis of a regular national survey of health and family life carried out by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Laura Hawks of Harvard Medical School and colleagues analysed the responses from 13, women aged between 18 and 44 who answered the survey in the past eight years. About 6. About half of these respondents said they had been held down. About a quarter had been physically harmed and a quarter physically threatened — although there was overlap between the groups. About half reported being verbally pressured, such as being told the relationship would end unless they had sex, and a fifth said they had been given alcohol or drugs.

You can also try using lubrication. It may help to speak to a counsellor or sex therapist about any worries you have. Ask a GP or healthcare professional at a sexual health or genitourinary medicine GUM clinic about a referral.

They can be easily treated with over-the-counter remedies. Find your local sexual health clinic. Page last reviewed: 28 March Next review due: 28 March Home Common health questions Sexual health Back to Sexual health.

woman first sex

Thinking about sleeping with another person with sex vagina? Here are seven tips to guide you. What "counts" as sex with another woman? This is the most common question I get when people find out I sleep with other people with vaginas. A bit invasive and rude, sure-but I get woman. We live in a society that generalizes sex as a "P-in-V" situation.

Not only is sex percent possible to have satisfying sex with another woman or vulva owner, but there's also way more than one way to have sex with another woman. For some, it might be oral sex, for others it might be mutual masturbation," explains clinical sexologist Megan StubbsEd.

But there are so many boxes to choose from! And let it be known that, while "lesbian sex" clearly connotates sex between two women first people with vaginas, you don't have to identify as a lesbian to enjoy female-on-female sex. Maybe you're bisexual, maybe you're pansexual, or maybe you're just following a vibe that feels right. FYI: A study showed that more women were having sex with women than ever before. With that in mind, this guide touches on some of the most common sex acts between wmoan people with vaginas.

Scroll down to learn what you need to know about having first-time lesbian sex and how to do it safely. Just like all things in sex, everyone is different. Some people will want hard and fast flicks directly on the clitoris, while others prefer slowly having their outer lips or G-spot rubbed. That's why, whether woman your very first encounter with another vulva and wiman or your th, you should woman into it with a beginner's mentality. Ask questions! Check in!

Pay attention to how your partner responds to your touch and adjust your pressure and technique accordingly. If and only if your partner indicates that they want womzn be penetrated, don't be afraid to get your hands in seex. And by hands, I mean one finger. Start slow. Slide one first two fingers woman her slit until they're lubricated, then slide them inside slowly, then wokan.

Switch between the two rhythms and ask her which she prefers. Maybe you've heard-or know from experience-that the G-spot can be incredibly pleasurable for some women. Resident sexpert Logan Levkoff Ph. If you feel this in your partner, go ahead and make a "come-hither" gesture. See how your partner responds. PSA: Trim your nails. Everyone's preferences for their nails are different, but if you're going to be digitally penetrating a person with a vagina, then smooth, esx, and short nails are preferred.

The vulva and vagina are sensitive and nothing ruins the mood quite like a scratch. For many women, the most daunting part of sleeping with another woman is oral sex. Good news: woman really not that complicated," says Jess Melendeza sex educator for O. Your best bet is to start slow. Kiss your way down south. Kiss and lick your partner's thighs, hips, everywhere. When your partner first ready which you might find out by asking, "Can I taste you now?

Depending on your partner's anatomy, this may help you find their clit. Lick your way up and the down the labia. Now, have fun. Vary the pressure. Spell your name in cursive with your tongue seriously, it works. Move your tongue in circles. Then move it side to side or up and down. As you experiment, pay attention to how your partner is reacting. And ask them what they like. Not all sex is penetrative sex, and introducing a strap-on into your play is absolutely not a must.

In fact, "not all vulva owners enjoy penetrative sex or will feel comfortable experimenting with a strap-on," says Melendez. That's why you need to have an open dialogue with your partner. Sex you both want to try strap-on sex, it's going to take a little foresight because you'll need a harness and dildo and lube! In case you haven't yet gone dildo shopping: Like vibratorsthey come in all different shapes and sizes.

Some are super phallic and have veins and are skin-toned while others are sparkly or rainbow and less reminiscent of sex penis. Don't let your eyes be bigger than, well, your vagina. There are all sorts of woman too. For example, you can get more coverage with a boxer-style harnessbut may find you have more control when you sex a strap-style harness.

You've got your equipment. Now what? If you're the person wearing the harness or the penetrator, Stubbs offers the following advice: "Practice doing some thrusts ahead of time.

It doesn't have to be silly. Just get used to the feeling, the weight. Maybe try masturbating with it. Also: Go slow, use lube, and give your partner first to get used to you. If you're the partner being penetrated, give feedback.

Communicate with your partner. Does it feel good? Do you like the depth? The angle? Your first time firsg lesbian sex with a strap-on might be the best thing in fidst world. First it also might feel womwn little clumsy and awkward just like almost all first-time sex, lesbian or not. That's normal; there's a learning curve.

Yep, the butt is up for ahem grabs too. If your womsn likes the sensation of your fingers, you might ask them if they'd like to feel your tongue, or first a butt plug. Try moving your finger or tongue in different directions and rhythms pulsing, circular, etc and check in with your partner about what feels good.

Eventually, you sex partner might graduate to using a butt-plug Sinclair's favorite is the Novice Plug but it's okay if you don't get there your first time sleeping together or ever.

The above aren't the only things you and your partner can do. You might try scissoring, dry humping, nipple play, spanking and BDSM, erotic massage, fisting, or masturbating next to each firts. It can be easy to question whether or not you "should" be doing something the first time you have sex with another woman, or whether or not something "counts" as sex, but this can take you out of the moment and into your mind, sfx can take away from your and your partner's!

There's a misconception that sex with another woman is safe sex. You can get an STI from fifst with first says Stubbs. That's why-just like when you sleep with folks without vulvas- practicing safe sex is important. Phrases like "Have you been tested recently? Many STIs like herpes, HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis can be transmitted through oral sex, so if you're going down on your partner, use a dental dam a thin piece of latex used to firs a safe-sex barrier during oralsuggests Woman.

They're easy enough to use: You just hold them over the to-be-licked area. There are also dental dam harnesses -which are designed to hold dental dams in place in the front or back for oral or butt play-if you'd prefer to have both hands free.

Pro tip: "Lubricate one side of the dental dam, by putting lube on the vulva then putting the dam over the vulva to keep it from feeling dry and plasticky on your body," says Melendez. If you're using and sharing toys-like a vibrator or dildo-Melendez recommends thoroughly washing the sex toy between uses or using a woman condom for each partner.

If you've only ever had P-in-V sex or haven't had sex before, woman might sex confused about what first-time lesbian sex means for your sexual orientation. Melendez agrees: "Your sexual orientation is around the individuals first want to engage with not the type of sex you're having. Only you can determine your identity. On the flip side, just as Erica Hahn from Sex Anatomy had an a-ha! And that's also OK. If it does, here's my recommendation: Go binge watch The L Word. You're welcome. Remember: This first-time lesbian sex tips guide is a good starting point, but no one can tell you about your partner's body and what they enjoy better than your partner can.

And, on the flip side, you know your own pleasure best. So your best bet is to communicate. This all goes for sex with a person of any sex, gender, or first. And if you can help it, don't sweat it.

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No, not always. Some women will bleed after having sex for the first time, while others won't. Both are perfectly normal. Everyone's “first time” is different. But one of the most important parts of being prepared for sex is making sure you use birth control and condoms to help prevent.

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