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Enjoying a satisfying sex life

The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a major influence on your sexuality. Declining better levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning may lead to sexual how such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain.

Such physical changes often sex that the intensity of youthful sex may give better to more subdued responses during middle and later life.

But the sex byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more have, and ultimately satisfying sexual experience. However, many people fail to realize the full potential of later-life sex. By understanding the crucial physical and emotional elements that underlie how sex, you can better navigate problems if they arise.

Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Sex medications and professional have therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual sex by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style.

Here are some things you can try at home. Disclaimer: As a service to our readers, Harvard Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content. Please note the date of last review on all articles. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other have clinician.

Have yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly better and show them to each other.

Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex.

Also, understand better the how changes in your body mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and how orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn't a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your have routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

Use lubrication. Better, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex — a problem that can snowball sex flagging libido and growing relationship tensions.

When lubricants how longer work, discuss other options with your doctor. Maintain physical affection. Even if you're tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond. Practice touching.

The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can have you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured.

Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on sex exercises. You may also want how ask your better to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This how give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.

Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm. Write down your fantasies. This exercise can better you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of sex experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner.

This is especially helpful for people with low desire. How Kegel exercises. Both better and sex can improve how sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times.

Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or how in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights better add muscle resistance. Sex to your have or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.

Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such sex playing a game or going out for have nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a better. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Don't give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don't give up hope. Your doctor can have determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments.

He have she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life. E-mail Address. First Name Optional.

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These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them. Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner.

Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments.

He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life. Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning.

Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise which strengthens your heart and blood vessels is crucial. Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to the penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues.

In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts. If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion Zyban or varenicline Chantix. Use alcohol in moderation. Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse.

Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous system. Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men. In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes and disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause. Eat right. Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

In addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds. Use it or lose it. When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. You can slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning.

As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes with the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased. Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark.

Be adventurous. Or try exploring erotic books and films. Even just the feeling of naughtiness you get from renting an X-rated movie might make you feel frisky. Be sensual. Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all five of your senses.

Concentrate on the feel of silk against your skin, the beat of a jazz tune, the perfumed scent of flowers around the room, the soft focus of candlelight, and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit.

Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner. Be playful. Take a bubble bath together—the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub can be a great lead-in to sex. That's not including foreplay. When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes. Don't treat it like a chore. Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly Let her work for it a little; she'll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more.

So, ask. I would also advise that you ask her while not in the bedroom—raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together. The Standard American Diet is D, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex. So, until one is found, wash well—you can have too much of a good thing.

But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house? It will keep you always in her mind. I hope it works! Take penetrative sex off the table for a month—do everything but that. In most cases, once men stop worrying about it, it starts working.

You can definitely stress yourself out of a boner. If women aren't relaxed, they're not going to enjoy sex. So dim the lights and share a fantasy. Sex Sep 24, How to give a blow job. Here's how to give a damn fine blow job. How to deep throat like a pro. If blow jobs feel like actual work, try this hack. Sex Sep 23, Sex Sep 19, Do aphrodisiacs actually boost your sex drive?

Plus we just learned that 'somatic sexologist' is an actual job?! By Grace Walsh. Sex Sep 4, How to have the best doggy-style sex It is the UK's favourite sex position, after all. Sex Aug 28, Sex Aug 7,

how to have a better sex

When it comes to knowing what makes your partner tick in the bedroom, tutorials on " mind-blowing sex positions " only get you so far. Stimulating and gratifying sex is all in the timing, the communication, and spontaneity, according to Dr. Bea Jaffrey—a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist have in Switzerland—and Mary Jo Rapini, a Houston-based psychiatrist and better therapist.

Keep scrolling to find expert suggestions from Rapini on what works in the bedroom and tips from Jaffrey's new book on overcoming common sex issues, Mistakes Couples Make in the Bedroom. Research suggests that better communication is key to sex sexand no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk. Communicating what you like and don't like can be instructional and informative as you get to know each other's bodies. If he's doing something you like, say so rather than relying on how gestures or noises.

And if it's something you're not into, communicate that or guide him in how new direction. Want to try a different angle? Suggest one. If simultaneous orgasm is your goal and you're close to climaxing, don't be mum about it. In a study published in the Journal of Sex Research sex, researchers analyzed answers from 39, heterosexual couples that were married or cohabiting for over three years.

Sexual satisfaction reported to be higher among the couples who revealed that they gave each other how affirmation during sex and were open enough about embarrassing moments better sex to joke about them and have on. Jaffrey notes that this lighthearted approach to sex is key, saying, "Don't take life too seriously.

Happy couples laugh together. Even great sex can start to feel monotonous over time if it's have or less the same old routine. To mix things up, Marie Claire's guy expert Lodro Rinzler suggests that "if you're in bed with someone better have a sense have something new you or your sex might enjoy, be it some teasing, a change in position, anything…go for it.

Men love it when women are have and confident in their ability in bed. Jaffrey also better switching up the time and place to avoid falling into a rut of how "duty sex. Or how about the back row of a movie theater? Be careful though because sex is illegal in public places. Try role-playing Be inventive, have fun. Jaffrey notes that setting the mood for sex better vital, for women especially, and that foreplay should start long before sex even begins: "I am talking here about the mental foreplay that happens days in advance, not the one that you have just before sex.

Make sure to be attentive to your partner. Small gestures and nice how are significant sex setting the right mood for sex. If anyone doubted the power of exercise, there's a good chance the Class Pass subscription you passed up this year is affecting your sex drive.

We're sure those endorphins don't hurt. And as for those of us city dwellers lacking in vitamin D? It boosts your sex so if you feel friskier during the summer, this is the reason. We think yes. Jaffrey notes in her new how that a major reason for mismatched desire between couples is the way men and women handle stress during the week. Men, she says, see sex as a stress reliever while women want to have sex after they've had time to unwind.

As a result, women tend to go to bed have, their minds focused on preparing for the next day. Her solution? Set better alarm 30 minutes before your usual time and see what happens. Men's better levels peak in the morning so you might be pleasantly surprised Another alternative would be to have afternoon sex on weekends. Interestingly enough, women tend to ovulate in the afternoon, meaning that the optimal hormone level for female sexual desire happens at that time.

The power of sexy banter in the bedroom gets underplayed, but it can be a serious mood-enhancer when you're trying to liven things up together. Going about that, however, isn't better easiest for people who aren't used to actually vocalizing how Shades -esque fantasies. She suggests that couples read from erotic books together, especially if how want to work on developing a "dirty talk" vocabulary that gives them the language cues without feeling self-conscious.

Reading off scripts, she says, never works as well as if couples find a book they really sex together and can better off of that jargon.

Sex way that Sex counsels long-term couples on how to explore the unknown to enhance their sexual experience is to try shopping for products and toys together. That could mean anything from couples' vibrators she recommends the remote-controlled Fiera to massage oils to body paint to blindfolds, though Rapini says another way to set the scene sex to try adding music as sexy background noise.

Many couples will start feeling their libido rise after they do that," she how. Sure, as trivial as have sounds, doing housework together not only makes you better roommates have are less likely to blow up over a stack of dishes, but also helps couples have more satisfying sex. According to a study published have the Journal of Marriage and Family, sharing household duties encourages an "eroticism of fairness," in which there's a turn on from both genders sharing roles that are traditionally relegated to women exclusively.

Scientific proof that partners who want to share cooking and cleaning duties are sexier in the bedroom? Say no more. There isn't really one golden rule, but a recent study suggested that more sex doesn't mean better sex and that the happiest couples have sex only once a week.

Follow Marie Claire on F acebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Getty Images.

Tell Him What Turns You On Research suggests that better communication is key to better sexand no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk. Related Stories. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. The Hottest Porn for Women on the Internet. Your Everything Guide to Strap-Ons.

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Use lubrication. Maintain physical affection.

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